


Brew at the Zoo

by TakingOverMidnight3482



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, All The Ships, Drunk Lance, Kinda?, Multi, how do aus work man idk, implied future shallura - Freeform, implied past shadam, lion trainer keith, megan if you dont actually read this one i quit, mermaids lowkey make an appearance bc i can, zoo au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 14:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakingOverMidnight3482/pseuds/TakingOverMidnight3482
Summary: Shiro scoffed, stepping aside as Keith joined him and Allura in the outer ring, shutting the door securely behind him. “Everybody likes me, right Black?”Black stared at him, unamused, one ear twitching, and promptly turned his back on Shiro and plopped to the ground, licking a paw. The crowd roared with laughter, and Keith and Allura high-fived.“You totally trained him to do that,” Shiro grumbled.“Keep telling yourself that, Shiro,” Allura teased, her voice filled with delight.~~Or, Keith is a lion trainer working at his local "Brew at the Zoo" and he meets a very drunk Lance who won't stop flirting with him.  Cutesy fluff and lions for a friend's birthday





	Brew at the Zoo

**Author's Note:**

> Forewarning: I know very little about lions, and even less about lion training. This is all based on videos I've seen and like....several three am wikipedia searches
> 
> Written for friendo's birth, but seeing as she's so bad at actually, like, READING the shit I update, I'm intrigued to see how long it'll take her to click on this story when she gets the alert. Should be very amusing.

“Shiro, I swear to god, if you make one more comment about me tucking in this polo, I will physically rip your prosthetic off and feed it to Charlie,” Keith deadpanned as he walked into the office. 

Shiro pressed his lips together, eyes twinkling, and tilted his head. “Okay, first of all, Charlie would not like that,” he said, referring to the old racoon that lived in the dumpster behind the office. “And secondly, I was just going to tell you that you have feathers in your hair.” 

Keith huffed and swiped at his head in annoyance. Stupid fucking cockatoo. 

“Though technically speaking, by uniform code, your shirt SHOULD-” 

“I won’t hesitate, bitch.” 

Shiro snorted and turned back to the computer, tapping at the schedule for the evening. “Why the long face, anyway? You love working with the lions in shows.” 

“Yeah,” Keith acknowledged. “When it’s for like, little kids on a field trip or some shit. Not grown ass adults drunk off their mind screaming at all the animals.” 

“Keith, you know if they get bad we kick them out,” Shiro said, tossing his brother a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “You just hate having to work past closing.” 

“I was going to Netflix tonight!” 

“Is Netflix a verb now?” 

Keith humphed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and looking out the window as the staff set up for the tenth annual Brew at the Zoo. “It should be,” he muttered back. He sighed and leaned his head on the wood behind him, dragging his hands down his face. “Do we at least get to go home after the lion show?” 

Shiro gave him a sad smile. “You know we don’t. They need help keeping the guests...contained. If it helps, Coran and his niece are coming.” 

Keith did perk up a little at that. Coran was the owner of the Altea Zoo and Aquarium, and had been like a second father to Keith over the years. He was the reason Keith probably wasn’t in jail, if Keith was totally honest. Usually Coran avoided the Brew at the Zoo, so Keith was intrigued. 

“Why’s he coming? He hates this event.” 

Shiro hit the print button on the computer and spun in the chair, sliding over to the printer to start grabbing copies of the programs. “You know his niece Katie, right?” 

“Pidge, yeah.” 

Shiro grinned at that and handed over a handful of programs for Keith to fold. “She turned 18 this spring, and she’s looking into going into tech related things. So Coran’s having her run the lights and cameras and all that...stuff. Now that she legally can.” 

Keith’s lips twitched and he creased the edge of his paper. “Tech not your strong suit, bro?” 

“Shut it. But yeah, she’s coming.” 

That was good. Keith had met Pidge several times, and they got along pretty well. She was two years younger than him, but had skipped multiple grades, so she had already graduated high school and was in her second year of college, much like Keith. 

“She invited two of her friends from school, too.” 

Fantastic. Great. More people that Keith had to pretend to like. He suspected that the only reason Pidge had been nice to him the first time they met was because of Coran. If it hadn’t been for him, he wasn’t sure they ever would have gotten along. Their sense of humor and thoughts on cryptids aside, Pidge and Keith didn’t have much in common. 

He hissed as he accidentally sliced his finger on a program, pulling back from the sting and reaching around Shiro for the first-aid kit Allura kept stocked in their office. He ripped a bandage from the package, slapped it on, and went back to folding. “Why aren’t the interns doing this again?” he whined. 

Shiro snorted. ”They got stuck on chair duty. You telling me you’d rather be out in the hot sun setting up chairs with fourteen other sweaty people instead of in here, folding paper with your favorite brother?” 

“You’re my only brother.” 

“So then I have to be the favorite.” 

Keith grinned despite himself. “Not necessarily.” 

Shiro feigned a gasp of outrage. “Keith! I’m insulted!” 

The door opened and Allura popped her head in, lifting an eyebrow as she watched Shiro chuck a few papers in Keith’s direction. “The programs are to be folded, not thrown, Shiro,” she said with an incredibly fake frown on her face. 

Shiro squawked and dove to the ground, scooping up the papers at Keith’s feet. Keith chuckled and looked to Allura, who was leaning fully in the door now. 

Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun on the top of her head, the small size of it nowhere near the sheer amount of volume her hair produced when undone. She wore a khaki uniform, safari stereotypical, and calf-high boots that laced up to the edge. The laces were tucked into the tops, and she had protective gloves on both hands, which meant she’d been recently working with the lions. 

“The usual ones in the show tonight?” Keith asked, side stepping as Shiro stood up a little too close to him, his cheeks flushed. 

Allura’s eyes glittered. “Yes. Red and Blue are ready to go. Play fighting, as usual. Yellow is napping, Green is watching the interns, and Black is...I’m not sure where he is, actually.” 

“You lost a whole lion?” Keith managed. 

Allura shrugged. “He’s around somewhere, I’m sure.” 

“Ah yes,” Shiro muttered, dusting at his black polo as if there was a massive spot there instead of a speck of dust. “We’ll just be sure to keep an ear out for screaming.” 

Keith snorted and handed over his stack of programs to Allura, having finished while Shiro was busy groveling on the floor for forgiveness. “Where do you want me first, boss?” 

Allura’s mouth twitched and she tilted her head to the door. “Section A. Red listens to you, maybe she’ll stop trying to bite Blue’s head off if you’re there.” 

“Fair enough,” Keith said, moving around his brother. He tugged at the hem of his red polo and Allura followed the movement, her eyebrows lifting. 

“Shirt tucked in please, Keith.” 

She left and Keith huffed, tucking the shirt into his jeans in annoyance. Shiro snickered from the desk until Keith turned to shoot him a glare mixed with a smug smile. “Gonna ask her out before the end of the millennium, lover boy?” 

Shiro promptly lifted his remaining programs to cover his tomato colored face. “God, no, not after that terrible blind date with Adam!” 

“That was a month ago, Shiro. And the guy liked you, you just happened to spill hot soup all down his shirt and then refused to speak to him after paying his whole hospital bill.” 

“Keith, I’m feeding you to Black tonight.” 

“If you can find him.” 

“...good point.” 

~~ 

Black, as it turned out, was sunbathing in the sinking light, his belly turned towards the sky and his paws dangling in the air like a lazy house cat. Keith laughed when he saw him and Black’s ears pricked up at the sound. 

Black was the biggest of the lions, a gorgeous Asiatic lion with rare tinges of black fur at the edge of his mane. He was missing a foreleg due to a rather unfortunate accident early on in his life involving hunters, and had been brought to the zoo by Shiro, who had been on an expedition to India at the time. Shiro had felt for the animal when he found him, and had, true Disney prince style, formed a close bond with the animal. 

So much so that he couldn’t actually leave without taking Black with him. 

Black, despite his size, was remarkably agile and calm, and when he lifted his head to look at Keith he chuffed and flopped back down, golden flank catching the sunset. Keith shook his head. “Lazy bones. Better be ready for tonight, mister.” 

Black didn’t respond and Keith moved on, passing Yellow, who was, true to Allura’s word, sleeping in the last glimmering rays of sunlight. Like Black, Yellow was an Asiatic lion, but incredibly pale. Had she been any paler, she most likely would have been considered an albino. Her tail was the only typical lion color about her, a warm gold that glimmered when it caught in the sun. She was a sweetheart, Keith had learned, and shy around people, most likely due to her upbringing in an illegal circus. 

She had opened up to the other lions immediately, however, and when they brought in Green, the youngest of the group, had treated her like her own cub. Keith had a special soft spot for Yellow that he didn’t have for any of the others. 

Green was about a year old, an African lion, named for her intense love of all things grass. She was curious, not afraid to approach anyone or anything, and had nearly taken a nibble on Keith’s arm when he first arrived. He admired her for that tenacity. 

Currently, Green was watching with bored interest as Red and Blue chased one another, tail whipping back and forth the only sign that she was genuinely involved in the event. She turned to eye Keith as he approached, yawning as if to say, _“About time you came to break these idiots up.”_

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Keith laughed. He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his ring of keys, unlocking the “Employee Only” entrance. He had just pulled open the door when he heard his name called. 

“Keith!” 

He turned to find Pidge jogging up the hill, cheeks a bit flush. Her hair was braided down her back and she was wearing a loose fitting, green three-quarter top and a pair of jeans. Boots similar to Allura’s adorned her feet, and she pushed her glasses up as she reached the crest of the hill. “Uncle Coran said you’d be up here. Can I come in with?” 

Keith blinked and instantly unclipped his walkie from his belt. “Coran. Pidge is up here. Can she-?” 

“Yes sir!” came the man’s voice, cheerful. 

Keith smiled and clipped the walkie back, shrugging. “Sorry. Had to check.” 

Pidge waved a hand. “Totally get it.” 

“You stay behind or next to me, do what I say, and if I tell you to leave, you leave. Got it?” Keith ordered. 

Pidge, despite all her joking, nodded, a serious look on her face. “Duh. Not gonna get eaten tonight.” 

Keith managed a smirk as he shut the first door behind them and locked it again. “Yeah, that would be preferred. I thought you were bringing friends?” he asked as he led her down the hall and to the next door, this one a heavier duty. He pulled a different key from the ring and stuck it in. 

“Yeah, but they’re meeting me here. Hunk doesn’t drink, he’s more coming for the shows, so he’s the designated driver.” 

Keith raised a slow eyebrow. “You’re 18,” he remembered. Not that he cared, of course, but they would be ID-ing people at the bars scattered around the zoo. 

The grin that crossed Pidge’s face did not bode well for the future, but Keith shoved it aside. He pushed the door open just a bit, glancing inside to make sure none of the lions planned to leap out at them, and then opened it a bit wider, sliding through and motioning Pidge in after him. 

He shut the heavy door and dropped a bar into place, a precaution so that the lions couldn’t nudge their way out, but also not fully locking it in case of an emergency on their side. “All right, keep your voice low, and no sudden moves. Stay back behind me and-” 

“I know, Keith. Uncle Coran wouldn’t be offering me a job here if I couldn’t handle myself.” 

“Just doing my job.” 

With that, he led the way into the habitat, glancing around and picking up the slinking movement of Green to his right. He blinked, looked over at her, and the cat came barreling out of the shrubbery, feinting to the left at the last second and scooting around him with all the grace of a dolphin. 

She rowled at him and Keith rolled his eyes, holding out a flat palm towards her. She promptly stopped, tail flicking with excitement, and Keith lowered his hand a bit, curling all his fingers in but the pointer, so that he was only holding it up. “Slow, girl.” 

Pidge was still behind him, holding her breath, and Keith could see Green eyeing her with interest, the way her paws shuffled on the ground. He took close note of her body language, the ease of her shoulders, and dropped his hand. “You’re good.” 

Pidge stepped out from behind him, eyes wide behind her glasses, and Green’s tail flicked faster, beating the brush. She would have been taller than Pidge on her hind legs, but on all fours, she was about the size of a large dog, which was slightly less intimidating than most people thought. 

“She’s so pretty,” Pidge breathed, pure delight in her eyes. 

Keith grinned, proud despite the fact that he had little to do with their grooming. “She’s just over a year old. And she’s really friendly. Likes to nip, though, and her nips are like full dog bites, so be careful.” 

“Shouldn’t we have gloves on then?” Pidge asked. “Allura did.” 

“Yeah, but she was feeding them. Way more intense. I’m just here to break up a fight.” 

Pidge stopped and turned to look at him, careful not to turn her back on Green. “And that’s... _less_ dangerous than feeding them?” 

“With Red? Yes.” 

Green chuffed, upset at being ignored, and butted her head against Pidge’s hip. Pidge gasped, jumping back a bit and smacking into Keith, and Keith settled a soothing hand on her shoulder. “She’s just saying hi. Put your hand out. Like a dog. If her lips curl and her nose wrinkles, pull back. That’s her tell for when she’s gonna nip or bite.” 

“You know her really well,” Pidge noted, doing as he instructed and watching the big cat intently as she snuffled her way along Pidge’s hand and arm. Instead of her lips curling, Green huffed again and nudged her head under Pidge’s hand, a low rumble deep in her chest. 

Keith laughed in slight awe. “Dude, you got her to fucking purr. I have to give her actual belly rubs for that. You can scratch her ears.” 

Pidge did so, her lips curling into a grin and her eyes twinkling behind her glasses. “Guess I’m a natural.” 

“Guess so.” 

Green accompanied them over to where Blue and Red were still wrestling, her tail twitching behind her as she hopped over rocks, pounced on bugs, and rolled in the grass they passed. She was very much still a cub in most ways. Aside from Red and Blue, she was the most active of the lions, but she had an intelligence to her that the others didn’t. Keith had caught her more than once attempting to push the bar off the door when she knew dinner was on the other side, something the other lions hadn’t yet figured out. 

One cell phone video of it had been enough to warrant Coran getting a bigger, heavier bar. 

As they approached, Green loped off into the tall grasses, leaving Keith to cross his arms and stare at the lions like a disappointed mother, his hip cocked and an eyebrow lifted. “Are you two done?” 

Blue popped up so fast that she tumbled backwards head over heels into the grass, chirping at the sight of Keith, her tail twitching. Her eyes, a startling robin's egg color, flicked to Keith and then to Pidge, who was slowly backing behind Keith again, eyes wide behind her glasses. 

Red, meanwhile, sat up leisurely, licking her paws as if she had been doing nothing out of the usual before Keith interrupted her. Her copper coat glinted in the setting sun, and arrogance practically radiated off her. 

“Are they as chill as Green?” Pidge asked softly, whose voice was filled with awe. 

Keith lowered his arms, leaving his stance loose to show that he wasn’t a threat, and gestured at Red. “Red’s a bit feisty, but not mean. None of the lions here are. Red is really fast though, so don’t let that startle you. Blue’s probably the friendliest lion, aside from Yellow. She was raised with people her whole life, so she’s very comfortable around us. Still be cautious, though.” 

He turned back to the lions, watching as Red curled up on the ground and yawned mockingly, her tongue lolling out of her mouth. “Yeah, yeah, missy. Show is in thirty, and then you guys get an extra treat before bed time. You gonna stop fighting now?” 

Blue chirped again, bouncing over to Keith and butting her head against his hand. Keith snorted and scratched Blue behind the ears, pulling back as Green came tumbling back in and tackled her away. 

“Do you have to break up their fight, now?” Pidge asked curiously, watching as the two lionesses danced around each other, slinking through the grasses. 

“Nah,” Keith said with a shake of his head. ”Green is still a cub, so Blue’ll take it easy on her. We should go now, though. I can take you to the tech set up, if Coran hasn’t shown you where it is?” 

“I haven’t seen it,” Pidge noted, glancing back as they walked away from the lions and towards the door, Red watching them curiously the whole way. ”I have a general idea of where it is, but I wouldn’t protest to a guide. If you don’t mind.” 

Keith held the heavy door open for her and then slipped through the remaining crack himself, keeping close watch of Red, who sometimes liked to bolt for the door at the last second and startle the keepers. She stayed put, and Keith let the door fall shut so that he could lock it. 

They exited through the second door and Keith locked that as well, nodding back down the hill that they had come up. 

“Let’s go.” 

~~ 

Pidge worked with tech like Allura handled lions. That was, to say, with an amount of ease that was nearly jaw-dropping and should probably be considered witchcraft. The moment Keith led her into the tech booth she squealed and dropped her bag, running her hands over the lighting controls. 

“Oh my god, you have the new Olkarian model! That’s like, the best on the market! Uncle Coran, this is fucking _awesome!”_

Coran deadpanned, though there was a twinkle in his eyes when he spoke. “What, did you think I was going to give you an old...piece of junk?” 

“Not a clue what she’s talking about either?” Keith muttered from the corner of his mouth, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Coran leaned over, his voice lowered conspiratorially. “Not a bit, my boy. She’s happy, though.” 

“If you two are done whispering, Hunk and Lance are here,” Pidge noted, looking down at her phone. “I’m going to go get them. Is it okay if I bring them up here, Uncle C?” 

Coran tilted his head in acknowledgement. “No drinks in the booth, and you’re the only one allowed to touch the equipment.” 

“Deal.” 

She darted past the two with a wave and Keith glanced at his phone, sighing when he saw that he was due back at the lion exhibit in five. “I should go. How come I can’t drink tonight?” 

“You can,” Coran protested. “Just not on the clock.” 

“I quit.” 

“No you don’t. Go to your station.” 

“Yes sir.” 

He trudged his way back to the lion arena, finding Shiro and Allura talking quietly outside the entrance. They both gave him a once-over as he trekked up and, in unison, said, “Tuck your shirt in.” 

Sure enough, when he glanced down, the polo was untucked, and Keith groaned. “Seriously, who even cares?” he demanded, tucking the shirt in all the same. 

“Blue,” Shiro said very seriously, gesturing at the young lion, who was hanging out on a tree branch and watching them all with bright eyes. “She’s very particular about wardrobe.” 

“Blue needs to stay in her lane,” Keith said, cheerfully flipping the lion off and positioning himself in between Allura and Shiro. 

Blue rumbled in her chest, tail flicking in a way that suggested she would pounce if Keith were on the other side of the fence. “Yeah, yeah, missy. How long until we get to do the show?” 

Allura chuckled, batting at Shiro’s arm to shut up his impending quip. “Fifteen minutes. We’re fielding questions until then. The guests have been milling for about fifteen minutes already, so they’re probably getting a little buzzed.” 

Keith huffed a sigh, rolling his eyes. “What if we just feed them all to the lions?” 

“No.” 

~~ 

“And now, I would like to present for you, the Altea Lion Habitat show, produced by Allura Kingsman, with aid from lion handlers Shiro and Keith!” Coran announced. 

He stepped outside of the large enclosure that they used for their shows. It was surrounded on three sides by auditorium seating, currently filled to max capacity. The cage rose a good two stories up in the air, with another, thinner cage outside of it for trainers to stand in. That was all separated with a solid ten feet of open ground and rocks between the audience and the area, just in case. 

“Oh sure, my name comes last,” Keith joked as they stepped out through the curtains that blocked off the back, bright lights slanting over their vision and making the crowd virtually disappear. His microphone made his voice boom throughout the zoo, and his comment got a chuckle from the crowd. 

Shiro scoffed. “Whine, whine, whine. At least your name is in there!” 

Allura lifted an eyebrow and glanced at the audience, her lips tilted in a smile. “Siblings. You two knock it off, we have a show to put on. Keith, go fetch the lions.” 

“Why do _I_ have to get them?” 

“Cause the last time I tried, Red got a little hungry,” Shiro said seriously, holding up his prosthetic. 

The crowd laughed and Keith rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, all right.” 

“For our safety,” Allura said as Keith stepped behind the curtain again, “we’ll be giving commands and prompts from the outside of the ring. The lions may be tame, but their kitten nips are more like crocodile bites when it comes to playfulness.” 

She and Shiro stepped into the outer ring, waiting for a beat before Shiro lifted his eyebrows. “Keith? Did Red eat you?” 

“Haha,” came Keith’s voice, booming over the loudspeakers. “You wish, bro.” 

“Sometimes,” Shiro mock-whispered, shooting wiggling eyebrows at the crowd. 

“No, no, I just thought we’d come out in style.” 

“What?” 

The curtains drew back fully, leading in from the lion enclosure, and Keith entered, perched happily on Yellow’s back. He was barefoot, his shoes tossed over his shoulders, and standing carefully. His weight was balanced in such a way that he knew he wouldn’t hurt the big cat. Black and Red flanked the animal, and Green and Blue tumbled in after all of them. 

The crowd whooped as the curtains shut, enclosing the five cats and Keith into the large inner ring. Keith hopped off of Yellow easily, patting him on the ears. “See, Shiro, they’re nothing but big kitties. Maybe they just don’t like you.” 

Shiro scoffed, stepping aside as Keith joined him and Allura in the outer ring, shutting the door securely behind him. “Everybody likes me, right Black?” 

Black stared at him, unamused, one ear twitching, and promptly turned his back on Shiro and plopped to the ground, licking a paw. The crowd roared with laughter, and Keith and Allura high-fived. 

“You totally trained him to do that,” Shiro grumbled. 

“Keep telling yourself that, Shiro,” Allura teased, her voice filled with delight. 

Over the next twenty minutes, the three of them prompted the cats to leap over and around one another, through hoops, cross over chains, play dead, and all other mannerisms of entertainment. All the while, they continued with their jokes and quips, sending the audience into fits of gut busting giggles. 

“It’s nearing the end of the show,” Keith declared as he got the light signal from Pidge, holding up his hands as the audience groaned. “Yeah, yeah, I know. We need a grand finale. Shiro?” 

“Hmm....I think I’ve got it,” Shiro mused. “Okay, so...” 

He waved his left hand, and Blue and Yellow circled each other, rumbling for a moment before standing shoulder to shoulder and then crouching low to the ground, tails swishing the earth for balance. Red and Green chuffed, trotting over a little more cautiously, and settled themselves comfortably on top of the other lions. 

When Shiro had first proposed the idea of a pyramid in their finale, Allura had opposed it, saying that it was too much weight. Shiro had countered, reminding her that the lions frequently laid on top of one another almost daily and seemed to enjoy it. Now, she loved the idea and the pictures that came from it, and the lions had never seemed to mind. 

Black was the last to go, his tail flicking for a moment while he pondered his move. Allura lifted her hand, and he crouched low, used to balancing on only three paws, before leaping up and landing rather steadily on Green and Red. 

The crowd was already freaking out, and Keith, grinning, lifted his hands, snapping twice. Blue and Yellow rose carefully, finding their feet under them until they were firm on the ground, and then held strong as Red and Green stood as well, until finally they had a stack of standing lions in front of them. 

The three trainers turned to the crowd and bowed low, and Black leapt off of the pile, Red and Green following seconds later. They seemed pleased with themselves, the group clinging close together. 

Coran stepped back onto the stage, into the outer cage with Allura while Shiro and Keith moved inside to put the lions back in their habitat and give them extra treats. “Thank you for your time, ladies and gentlemen! We have another round of specialty drinks coming up, and you can feel free to mill about for about twenty minutes before we head on over to the aquarium!” 

Allura leaned into his mic. “And Keith, Shiro, and I will be hanging out around the lion enclosure, if you have any questions for us!” 

The crowd gave one last, slightly tipsy round of applause, and the lights dimmed. 

~~ 

“You did great, Pidge!” Keith said as the girl sprinted up to where he and Shiro were standing outside of the lion enclosure. 

Pidge’s cheeks were a little flushed, and she had a suspiciously blue drink in her hand. “You really think so?” 

Shiro eyed her drink but didn’t comment on it, instead reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. “Your cues were on point, and you somehow kept the lights out of our eyes, which is like, almost impossible to do. So yeah, I’d say you did a really good job.” 

Pidge blushed, glancing at the ground, and they looked up as Allura rounded the corner, followed by a gaggle of people that were very clearly past tipsy. She was laughing, fending off their questions, and she shot a pleading look to Shiro, who laughed. ”Better go help her out.” 

“Take her out, more like,” Keith grunted. 

He squawked as Shiro shoved his hand into his hair, mussing it on his way past, and cussed his brother out as he fixed his head. 

“Whooooaaaaaa Pidge, you didn’t tell me you were friends with the LION dude!” came a very loud, very gaspy voice. 

Pidge’s lips split into a grin as she caught Keith’s eyes rolling. “Yes I did, Lance. Before we got here.” 

Keith turned, still smoothing down his hair, and froze. 

Despite the fact that he was clearly very, very drunk, Pidge’s friend Lance was...really hot, to say the least. His smile was a mile wide, cheeks pink from the drink he was consuming (some kind of fruity drink, the ones Keith had learned the hard way contained the most alcohol), and he had his arm draped around the shoulders of a larger, sober looking guy Keith assumed was Hunk. 

Lance was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans, a set of tan slip-on Vans on his feet. A blue and red flannel shirt was tied loosely around his hips, his black V-neck riding up around his waist, and his wrists were covered in silly bands, bracelets, and various other adornments, including the bright yellow “legal drinking age” tag that they were given when they got to the zoo. His hair was short, a bit messy, like he’d been riding the carousel (wouldn’t surprise Keith in the slightest), and his eyes glittered a dark blue. 

“I’m Hunk,” the other guy introduced, leaning around Lance to hold out his hand. Keith took it, surprised at the light grip. “D.D. for the night.” 

“So Pidge told me,” Keith noted, nodding to the girl. “Keith.” 

Hunk was dressed about as casually as Lance, light-washed jeans over a pair of dark sneakers, a button up yellow shirt tucked in loosely to his waistband and revealing a dark orange belt that matched the headband wrapped around Hunk’s head. His shirt betrayed the way his arms muscled, and Keith had to admire the sheer strength the guy was clearly trying to hide. 

Keith tugged at his own polo, suddenly self-conscious, and pulled the tail of his shirt from where it was tucked under his belt. 

Lance whistled. “You gonna STRIP?” 

“Please pardon our asshole of a friend,” Pidge said with a roll of her eyes. “He pre-gamed.” 

Despite everything, Keith found his mouth slipping into a smile. “So I can see. You guys going to the aquarium tour?” 

“Only if you are, hot stuff,” Lance drawled, shooting a wink at Keith. 

Keith’s eyebrows shot up, heat flooding his cheeks, and he glanced at Hunk and Pidge, who both looked like this was totally normal. “Uh...well, I do have to work clean up, but until then I guess I’m free. I was going to hide out and try to escape Coran, though.” 

“Oh that’s impossible,” Pidge said with a shake of her head. “No way. Been trying since I was a kid. One time he found out that my brother Matt did weed...he was in Colorado at the time. Nowhere near us.” 

“Did he yell at him?” Keith found himself asking. 

“Nah, he asked who his dealer was.” 

“Not surprised.” 

“Seriousllllyyyyyy,” Lance whined. “Can we go to the aquarium? I love the sharks Hunk, you know I love the sharks man.” 

“I know you do, Lance. Keith, would you like to come?” 

Keith glanced at Shiro and Allura, who had fended off most of the curious zoo-goers. “Uh...yeah, okay. Okay. Let me grab my jacket from the office, the aquarium is freezing.” 

“N-No, no, no, no, no, no,” Lance declared, untangling himself from Hunk to drape himself across Keith’s shoulders instead. Keith stiffened, unaccustomed to having people he barely knew basically laying on him. “No. You would be....way more pretty in my jacket.” 

“Lance, your jacket is in the car,” Hunk said, clearly smothering a smile with his hand. 

Lance rolled his eyes, tugging at his flannel halfheartedly. “Not THIS one!” 

“No, no,” Pidge chuckled, batting Lance’s hands away. “Come on, Lance, Keith doesn’t like the touching. Get off.” 

To Keith’s surprise, Lance backpedaled immediately, looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “M’sorry, dude,” he managed, sounding almost sober for a moment. His shirt had ridden up further, revealing soft brown skin between the edge of it and his jeans. 

Keith swallowed, clearing his throat and glancing away. “It’s fine. Didn’t know. Let’s go to the aquarium, hmm?” 

Pidge fell in step with Keith as they walked away, Hunk chasing after Lance as he spotted some colorful Macaws. “He’s very, very bisexual, by the way.” 

“Shut up, Pidge.” 

~~ 

The aquarium show was cool, if only because they had hired a local mermaid crew to work with the animals on the show, doing flips and spins with dolphins and seals alike. Keith had met them a few times, their troupe leader someone named Luxia, and they were all sweet. The way they worked with the animals was professional, and he admired the hard work they put into it. 

Lance, of course, freaked out about the mermaids – they were his favorite mythical creature, Keith learned from Hunk – and was practically unintelligible the whole show, nearly falling out of his seat when one of the mermaids (Plaxum, if Keith was remembering correctly) blew a kiss at him. 

Pidge left after the show, moving on to the South American Plains for her next light show work, leaving Hunk and Keith to prop Lance up and drag him through the aquarium. 

The underwater show and the calming atmosphere of the whole aquarium seemed to make Lance chill out, plus he hadn’t had a drink since Keith had joined up with the group, and Hunk asked Keith if he would mind keeping an eye on the drunk while he ran to the bathroom. Keith agreed, a bit reluctant, and turned to find immediately that Lance was gone. 

Fuck. 

How did he lose a whole person in less than thirty seconds? 

Keith nearly called Hunk back, but he took in his surroundings, noting the open door to the turtle exhibit, and went there on a hunch. 

Sure enough, Lance was there, staring up at the turtles with something like bliss on his face, totally alone in the exhibit. His face was lit by the blue lights when he turned, eyes glinting with happiness. “Keith! Did you know there’s a theory that...that the whole world is on top of a massive fucking turtle? How cool is that?” 

Keith bit back a smile. Despite his initial feelings, he was starting to enjoy hanging out with Hunk and Lance. “Pretty cool,” he admitted. “I’m partial to lions, though.” He rubbed his hands up and down his arms briskly, trying to warm them in the cool building, and then Lance’s flannel was being thrown in his face. 

He spluttered, lowering it from his eyes, and Lance winked, cheeks flushed in the dim lighting. “Gotta stay warm, dude.” 

Keith shook his head, holding it out. ”I can’t, Lance. It’s yours. I’m fine.” 

“Nu-uh.” 

Lance leaned over, draping the flannel across Keith’s back like a cape and tying it around his neck like he was a 37-year-old rich, white, suburban soccer mom. “There,” he declared with a smile, stepping back to admire his handy work. “You’re warm now!” 

Keith had to admit, the flannel did help quell some of the chill in the air, but he still scoffed and tugged at the sleeves a little. “I guess.” 

He leaned on the railing next to Lance, and Lance leaned way over until his head was on Keith’s shoulder. “Why you such a grumpy gilllsssss?” he whined. 

Keith frowned, tugging his shoulder away, and Lance promptly sat up. “Right, right, sorry, no touchy rule. No touch.” 

“It’s okay,” Keith found himself saying, and he was surprised to find that he kind of meant it. ”Just not a fan of this event. Everyone getting drunk means they don’t really appreciate all the animals here.” 

Lance shot him a frown, looking insulted. “Um....excuse you. If I was fucking sober, I’d just be like....”Yo. Cool lions.” But dude I was fucking LOSING IT out there. They STACKED, man! Like a goddamn cheerleader pyramid. These turtles? Chill dudes, man. I’d fucking...be so bored if I was like...totally sober. You just don’t appreciate the world fully when not drunk.” 

He nodded sagely when he was done and Keith bit his lip, turning back to the turtles and pondering Lance’s drunk words. What would he be thinking if he was drunk, about this particular turtle? 

He had no fucking idea. 

“Yo, but you still a cool guy, Keith. Ma man. You should hang with us waaayyy more often.” 

Keith glanced at Lance, lifting an eyebrow. “You think?” 

“Totally. You hella cute. ‘cept that mullet. Gotta go, dude.” 

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Keith demanded. 

Lance leaned over, hesitating just before his fingers touched Keith’s hair. When Keith didn’t flinch or back away, he buried his fingers in it, tugging. "Too easy. To grab. You go down in an instant, man. Fwoom.” 

“Go down _where?”_

“Oh my god, Lance, thank god, I thought Keith would have strangled you by now,” Hunk gasped, stepping into the room. He lifted a brow at the two of them, noses apart, Lance’s hands still tangled in Keith’s hair, his flannel draped around Keith’s shoulders. “Uh...do we have to have a talk about consent?” 

Keith rolled his eyes and shoved Lance off. “I’m not an asshole, Hunk. Just very confused about the state of my hair.” 

“Needs to be in a ponytail,” Lance decided, nodding his head like he had just determined the secrets of the universe. ”40% hotter that way.” 

Keith really wasn’t sure how to respond to that. 

It didn’t matter anyway, because his radio squawked and Shiro called for him, reminding him of their duty to clean up and help man the exits for the rest of the night. 

Keith bid goodbye apologetically to Hunk and Lance. “Gotta go help clean up and stuff,” he explained unnecessarily, considering they had been standing there when Shiro called him. 

“Clean up your mullet,” Lance said, pouting. 

“Clean up your act,” Keith shot back without thinking. What did that even _mean??_

A sly grin slid over Lance’s features and he winked. “Not with you around.” 

Hunk apologized and dragged Lance from the turtle exhibit, leaving Keith to chuckle and venture off to find his brother. 

He only realized halfway there that the flannel was still tied around his neck. 

~~ 

The day after the brew, Keith woke up to a barrage of text messages from an unknown number. He frowned, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and opened his phone. 

_Unknown: Hey dude_

_Unknown: It’s me_

_Unknown: Uh...._

_Unknown: Lance_

_Unknown: From last night_

_Unknown: Pidge gave me your number_

_Unknown: I am....so sorry_

_Unknown: for like all the comments and shit on your appearance???_

_Unknown: Pidge and hunk told me what I said and_

_Unknown: oh my god im so embarassed_

Keith smiled, unplugging his phone and rolling over in bed so that he could better think up a response. He added Lance to his contacts first, hovering his thumbs over the keyboard. He tossed a glance at his desk chair, where he had laid Lance’s flannel last night upon arriving home, unable to find the group before they had left the event. 

_Keith: It’s okay, dude._

_Keith: People say dumb shit when they’re drunk_

_Keith: But you kinda made it fun??_

_Keith: Weirdly?_

_Keith: I usually hate that event but I think_

_Keith: this was like the first time I really had fun_

_Lance: Seriously?????_

_Lance: I didn’t make you uncomfortable and shit??_

_Keith: I mean...maybe a little at first._

_Keith: But I’m just not super tuochy in general_

_Keith: *touchy_

_Keith: So it’s no big_

_Keith: Plus the comments were kind of...flattering. Im used to people fawning over Allura and Shiro, so drunk you flirting was kinda hilarious_

_Lance: oh_

_Keith: ???_

_Lance: well like_

_Lance: I still think youre really cute_

_Lance: so like_

_Lance: sober me wanted to ask_

_Lance: I guess_

_Lance: if maybe you wanted to go on a date?_

_Lance: but like it’s chill if you don’t_

_Keith: anywhere but the zoo_

_Lance: !!_

_Lance: seriously?????_

_Keith: yeah. could be a lot of fun_

_Keith: plus i need to give you your flannel back_

_Keith: mr chivalry_

_Lance: shit shit god im a loser_

_Keith: lol_

_Lance: don’t worry_

_Lance: youll be FELINE the mood before you know it_

_Lance: I like to think im pretty pawsome_

_Keith: is Hunk single_

_Lance: )))),:_

_Keith: don’t make any puns and we can go wherever you want_

_Lance: puns r a part of me Keith_

_Lance: deal with it_

_Keith: I’d rather let the lions eat me_

_Lance: Meow-ch_

_Keith: Im breaking up with you_

_Lance: we havent even gone on a date!!!!!!_

_Keith: Your loss_

_Lance: im making your name Kitty-Cat Keith_

_Lance: hows that sound_

_Keith: driving to the zoo right now covered in meat_

_Lance: rude_

Keith grinned, shutting off his phone and covering his face with his hands. He had a fucking date. He couldn’t _remember_ the last time he’d gotten a date without it being set up by someone else, or without it being some stupid hookup from an app. 

He couldn’t wait for the next zoo event. 

~~ 

_One New Text Message From: Worlds Worst Sibling_

_Worlds Worst Sibling: Heard from Coran you got a date with Lance_

_Worlds Worst Sibling: that’s gay_

_Keith: fuck you_

_Keith: how did Coran know????_

_Worlds Worst Sibling: Pidge told him after Lance called her screaming_

_Keith: amazing_

_Worlds Worst Sibling: remember to tuck in your shirt_

_Keith: im letting Black loose_

_Worlds Worst Sibling: you wouldn’t dare_

_Keith: fucking try me_

**Author's Note:**

> If you're telling me Lance wasn't Chat Noir in a past life, you're wrong. Like one hundred percent.
> 
> Hap birth friendo!!! Provided you, you know, actually ever read this (i tease, but only kinda lol)


End file.
